"And where there is no talebearer, strife ceases.
As charcoal is to burning coals, and wood to fire,
so is a contentious man to kindle strife.
The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles
And they go down into the inmost body"
Proverbs 26:20b - 22
Talking about every little irritation or piece of gossip only keeps the fire of anger going. Refusing to discuss them cuts the fuel line and makes the fire die out. Does someone continually irrirate you? Decide not to complain about the person and see if your irritation dies from lack of fuel.
Check with your conscience if you are merely "sharing" or "complaining". The best place to start is our own hearts. Why are we irritated or upset with this person? Is it due to our own jealousy or fear?
Choose to be a peacemaker, not a talebearer who creates or aggravates strife.
